


The Lamps

by HiddenViolet



Series: Retirement [3]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), DCU, The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Bad Puns, Domestic, Lamps, M/M, Moving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-25 22:37:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18172364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenViolet/pseuds/HiddenViolet
Summary: “Why do we have so many lamps?”





	The Lamps

**Author's Note:**

> I'm alive! With another one of these things as well. This fills out my "The Flash" prompt on my DCTV bingo card. If only for the fact that it works. Enjoy!

“Why do we have so many lamps?” Len glanced over at his partner who was holding two of them in one hand.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember having this many lamps before. However, we didn’t ask for help moving, we didn’t even tell anyone so I don’t think that it is a prank. Maybe we just amassed lots of lamps. They are good for lighting up weird corners and God knows that our last place was full of them. Although a number of them are quite ugly.” Len’s voice was a little skeptical of his own theory.

“Yeah, but _thirty-seven_ lamps? That is a large number even for us. I don’t even remember buying this many lamps. I don’t remember buying any lamps at all. It’s not like we go shopping for shit like that.” Len gave a slight frown at his words and racked his brain.

“I don’t remember either. Something is fishy around here. There is no way that we could have thirty-seven lamps and either of us not has bought a single one. I think we should ask the rogues. This is exactly the sort of thing that they would do. But not until after we finish moving, the last thing that we need is them messing up our move. I am not going to put up with that. Is this the last of our stuff?”

“Yeah, everything is already at the house or is in the moving van ready to be shipped to the house. I counted thirty-seven lamps though. Are we seriously going to take all of them with us?”

“Yes, we are because we are throwing a housewarming party and anyone in on this ridiculous lamp thing will be there. We are going to put all of them in the living room, plug them in and turn them on. Then we invite everyone over for the party and watch their reactions. Anyone who helped plan this won’t be able to keep a straight face.” Mick looked at him and rolled his eyes.

“That is the pettiest, neurotic plan you have ever made. Why don’t we just act like we didn’t even notice the lamps? Like it never happened? It would drive whoever came up with it crazy.” Mick asked while picking up the last few boxes.

“Because _Mick,_ this will be funnier. We get to see the reactions of our pranksters and we get to watch as all of our other guests look on in bewilderment. I’ve always wanted to be the cause of bewilderment. Not surprise. Not confusion. Bewilderment.”

“I can’t believe that I married you,” Mick said as he locked the door to their old place.

“You know you love me. You put it in your vows.”

ColdFlash

It had only taken them about a week to get settled into their new house. Mick was already planning the changes he was going to make to the kitchen and Len had gone out and bought art supplies. He had decided for his paintings that he was going to start with everyday scenes. Streets, parks, high-rises and the like. Easy stuff that wouldn’t take too much time or heavy thinking. In the meanwhile was their party.

Mick was in charge of inviting everyone over. Most people knew that they were going to be moving into a bigger house but none of them knew that it had already happened. Less likely that something would happen while it was going on. Therefore they needed to know about the move and the party.

Len had set himself the task of getting the lamps ready. He was going through with this plan no matter how petty or neurotic it was. First, he was going to need extension cables. After the harrowing experience of going to the hardware store without Mick, he began to plan out where each of them should go. Half of them were designed to stand on the ground. He started with those, making sure that each lamp had its own place and the spacing on them was good. For the others, some of them had to go on the floor because there was no way that he was going to get them all onto tables. The rest he simply set on tables. The coffee table. The sofa tables. The chair tables. The card table where the food was going to go.

After he had them all placed and plugged into his multiple extension cords he turned all of them on. And immediately winced. Turns out, 37 lamps made a lot of light. A lot. Mick came in to see how it turned out and rolled his eyes.

“You know that I am all for a good fire but this is ridiculous. You are going to burn this place down right after we moved in.”

“I thought of that, there are 7 fire extinguishers in different places around the house, including two in there. That way we will be able to put out any fire. Now, when are the guests supposed to arrive and where is the food?”

“The guests will be here in about a half an hour and the only thing I need for the food is to move it into the mess you call our living room. What are we going to do when we are finished?”

“Each room will have a lamp. A few extras will go into storage and we can either give away or donate the rest. I have a plan.” Mick rolled his eyes at the statement and went back into the kitchen.

“Alright, let’s get the food into the living room. People should be arriving soon.” The two of them worked their buffet style meal in around the lamps. Mick was just putting the last touches on the seasoning when the doorbell rang and Len went to see who had arrived 20 minutes early.

“Hey, Len! Nice place. I brought a bottle of wine!” Len raised an eyebrow at Barry’s overexcited announcement.

“I want to be surprised that it was the two of you but I’m not. The food is in the living room just down the hall. That’s where we will all be.” Len lead Cisco and Barry down the hall to his lit up the living room. The two of them looked on in bewilderment at the number of lamps there were. Len, satisfied from their facial expressions that they weren’t in on it, decided to let them in on it.

“Someone has either given us or left with us a ridiculous number of lamps. Therefore, I am finding the culprit whilst amusing myself by placing them all together. Please, have a seat and enjoy yourself while we wait on the other guests. I have no doubt that others will be along early as well so it shouldn’t be long.” Mick couldn’t help his eyeroll from where he was standing over a pot of something holding a stirring spoon.

The doorbell rang and Len excused himself to go see who it was. Mick gestured for the two of them to enter the lit up the room and have a seat. It was going to be an interesting housewarming.

ColdFlash

At half past the start time, almost all of his guests had arrived and Len was no closer to finding out who had done it. He was tired of waiting for the culprits to reveal themselves, and no one had looked guilty. He was beginning to think that it wasn’t anybody, they had just accumulated that many lamps when his sister and Caitlin Snow arrived.

His sister was able to mask her features mostly, although the twitch at the corner of her mouth gave her away. Caitlin, on the other hand, could barely squash her smile and it showed.

“Aha! It was the two of you! You are the reason that we have so many lamps. Why the hell would you give us thirty-seven lamps?” Caitlin gave a soft, dangerous smile at his question, one with just a touch of mischief in it.

“Because, the two of you have brought light to the world, now that you are no longer traditional villains.” Len stared at her. Mick just laughed at how surprised he was.

“You just got out punned, by a member of Team Flash. Well, there goes your reputation. Now do any of you fine guests want a lamp? Seriously, we need to get rid of them. Have at it. Feel free to unplug and claim them now.” There were murmurs of agreement as people began wandering around picking out lamps. Mick led his stunned husband away from the lit up the living room to the kitchen and poured him a glass of water. Mick idly noticed that even some of the really ugly lamps were being picked out.

“I suppose this means that we really are retired now, doesn’t it? What with being out-punned and all. And to think that it was Snow of all people.” Mick grinned at Len and led him back to the living room.

“It’s always the quiet ones boss, always.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hello at forgottenfandomsandtheirfics, on Tumblr. Comment and kudos if you like it and want to see more. Not real happy with the ending but if I edit it anymore I'll never finish it.


End file.
